Our hero, Ch. Chrisdon's Majestic Cody (Cody) is approaching the end. He is beginning to "go in and out." He no longer barks to get outside or plays. He does a lot of laying in corners and just standing. To get him outside yesterday, TK had to go in the run and raise the bench up so it would not be there for him to lay under. He is very lethargic (When he is healthy and eating, he is just plain lazy -- that's one of the beauties of him). He does not want to eat; its been over a week. Our guideline is about 3 days of not eating, but letting him go has proven to be one of our most difficult decisions and we continue, futilely it seems, to look for him to "turn it around." He (who rarely wants to spend time with you) will stand for extended periods while you pet him -- nothing he would do before; he'd take his pet/strokes and go on about his business, which were many and varied.

He is one of our heart dogs. It always hurts -- you all know that. But with Mandy, Hank, Cody -- its SO much more painful, if that can be said to be the case -- I guess its the degree of tears one cries. All week, I've been crying and am heartbroken and completely devastated knowing that his time is coming and that, to be fair to him, we'll have to take him in before he goes down to "nothingness" -- but when your so-loved dog is in and out, and he comes back "in" -- you think he might be back; it might be forever and that everything will be okay -- but it isn't. I do not want him to lose his dignity -- but I just adore him in a hundred ways. Love him so much. How can we make this decision? We will, of course, but even though it is hard with every loving animal one owns, this one is a total heartbreaker. Could I be any more repetitive -- but it hurts so terribly bad to think of not having him.

That boy never had a bad day. He sired wonderful kids (and now grandkids). He finished. He listened. He learned. He told you stuff (our E.F.Hutton -- when he spoke, you better get outside and check out what was happening). He was proactive in making things happen, in teaching, in babysitting and was one hell of a drill sergeant. The best we've ever had - right up there with Hank (our girl from Marty/Steve Davis) -- He got out once and went to the neighbors -- when we brought him back, I was laughing so hard. It brought to mind the Steve McQueen character in "The Great Escape" -- head down, forlorn -- he'd been busted!! (Actually, he wasn't -- we called him and he came right over). No amount of talking to him could convince him he was NOT in trouble -- but he wasn't -- that boy was so predictable and so well-behaved. He sat in his run and pouted for the better part of a whole day.

Babies in this house could not be raised with out him. He played and played. We had to give him a break. Puppies (this happened several times) would play so hard that they would fall asleep ON HIM. His body, his head. And he would not move them. Just a plaintive look -- I'll be fine -- they'll wake up eventually. No matter how uncomfortable he was. They pushed him around; backed him into corners. When he had enough, the "WOOF" was spoken and everybody scattered. Smart.

His relationship with Ember is the stuff books are written about. She kept track of him every minute; when other females were in season, she had no part of that. You go out, you come and eat and you COME RIGHT BACK HERE. Immediately. No lookin' around. They did everything together; slept together, played together -- I am very apprehensive how this will all play out for her. She feels things so deeply (remembering how she almost didn't make it when we moved up here and how hard it was to "get her back," as well).

The decision has not been made. I'm not sure how we will do without him. He is our treasure and our blessing and our loving boy. He has been a blessing to us every day since we acquired him and, yes, I tell him that EVERY SINGLE DAY. Just thinking about being without him makes me ache. Silly, huh? Without my tattle-tale, how will we know when something is wrong? How will Ember survive? I'm not sure that she will (besides, how can she -- she'll only get one feeding a day without him!). They are forged at the hip. Who will give the babies their seconds? (Yeah, its disgusting) -- who will be our peacemaker -- who will rise above it all -- I've already written to Chris, who knows that I'm dying a little here -- but want you to know what is happening and why this house may be a little more quiet for a few days.

Well, guys -- he, as usual, made things as easy as possible for US -- never put himself first, that guy. Made the choice for us. He passed in the night.

It really, really hurts but then we look at Cage and remember why we do this -